Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
