So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
