You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
