I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
