My first STD was from a foam party
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
