Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
