I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
