i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize