First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
