he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
