Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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