I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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