We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So many bounce houses so little time
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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