Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
