dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
