i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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