Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
