this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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