I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
