Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
