After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
