I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize