"it" just moved
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
