and i looked up. we had an audience...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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