Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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