Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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