I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
