Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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