We're like a lot better than the average bears
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
