I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize