just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
