They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
