just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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