Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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