if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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