dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
