We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
