Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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