what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I deserve this hangover.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
