Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize