North Korea, Best Korea!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
