Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry puala_koala hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture

Fav 23 877 2428
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

Fav 38 3554 1122
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

you really are a gigantic fucking slut.

(614): View more from Ohio

sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text

(1-614): View more from Ohio

it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?

Fav 6 3786 982
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.

Fav 14 5237 1128
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"

Fav 12 6721 1357
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing

Fav 2 836 1563
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.

Fav 14 2507 734
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost

Fav 1 654 587
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!

(1-302): View more from Delaware

Do it. It’s a noble position.

Fav 0 49 22
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT