We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
