I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
