i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
