I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize