Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
