Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
