My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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