The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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