I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize