Can i not drive my cunt home
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
