His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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