Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
