So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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