What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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